Moving On
by groovyflor
Summary: Six months after Edward leaves, Bella realizes its time for her to move on. She enters into a relationship with Jacob that changes not only the course of her own future, but Jacob and Edward's as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

The first few months after _he_ left were pure misery. I didn't eat, sleep, or talk. I just wanted to fade into oblivion. When he left, he took my soul with him, leaving just this empty shell of a body. Eventually Charlie prodded me in to getting out and interacting with other people. Angela and I were still on speaking terms, and Mike and Ben too. They included me in the conversations at lunch, though for the rest of the group, it appeared that they thought the school would be better off without me. I was lucky that I even had those three people on my side, considering how unfriendly I had been to everyone during my zombie period.

Then there was Jacob. Son of my father's best friend, gifted mechanic, sunshine that broke through my perpetual gray. He was the one who caused me to smile for the first time since my birthday all those months ago. He enjoyed being reckless, foolish, young. When I had been with _him_, I felt mature, safe, even old fashioned (I still curse those barriers he put up between us). But while I relished it, there was still a small part of me who yearned to be a normal teenager. With Jake, I felt my own age, perhaps even younger.

We had a great time, just the two of us. We rebuilt two motorcycles, and later rode them all over the reservation. I had never enjoyed doing homework much, but with Jake it was almost fun. He helped me laugh again. And then one day, he disappeared from my life too. It was as if the world was crashing down on me. How was it possible to lose my heart and soul twice in one lifetime, let alone one year? I nearly drown in the despair but eventually I pulled myself together long enough to drive to La Push and confront Jake. It was then that I discovered what he was:

Werewolf

I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. As if I didn't have enough living mythology in my life already, here was yet another example of fiction becoming fact. I was accepted into the pack like a sister. They referred to me as "Vampire girl" but I could tell that did not hold my association with _them_ against me. I became particularly close with Emily, fiancée to Sam, the pack's Alpha. We both knew what it was like to worry about the wolf-boys. Though her proximity to the wolves put her in harm's way every second she was with them and had scarred her once beautiful face, you could not help but realize the love she had for every member of the Quileute pack. She was their den mother, and they loved her in return.

One night we had been sitting around her house, making food to feed the guys when they returned from patrols. In the middle of stirring a large pot of pasta, she turned to me with a speculative look on her face.

"Bella?"

"Yep?"

"I want to say something to you, but please know I am not trying to be bossy or pushy. Ok?"

"Umm…ok." I wasn't sure where this was going and I could feel my defenses going up automatically.

"Have you ever considered dating Jacob?" Uh, what? That wasn't what I was expecting at all.

"Dating Jake? I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling that that is what he wants, but you know my story. I'm damaged goods. I don't know if I could ever love anyone like that, and I'm not sure it would be fair to him to be in a relationship with someone like me."

"Bella, you need to give yourself and Jake more credit. He knows you better then you know yourself. He knows how much you have been hurt, but he is in love with you. It's written all over his face whenever he looks at you. And then there is you. You are sweet and caring, and the only time I ever see you truly look happy is when you are with him."

"Um. I'll think about it." It was all I could say and thankfully Emily knew to drop the subject. My mind was running at a hundred miles an hour trying to process this. I had thought about dating Jake in the past, and he wasn't exactly hiding his feelings for me so I knew where he stood. But could I ever get past _him._ I just wasn't sure.

While I sat there staring in to space, thinking about what Emily had said, the pack came home, loud and obnoxious as ever. Jake's arms wrapped around me, tightening into a warm hug, while the rest of the guys loaded up their plates and fought over who got which loaf of garlic bread.

"I missed you Bells," he said, grinning like usual. "You missed me too, didn't ya?" His smile was contagious and I couldn't help but grin back, thinking about everything Emily had said. Maybe she was right. Maybe it would be good for both of us.

I spun around and grabbed his hand. I knew I wasn't strong enough to pull him myself but I still walked towards the door, knowing he would follow.

"Come on Jake. There's something I want to talk to you about." I cast a quick glance over my shoulder at Emily who smiled knowingly, before heading out to meet the future head on.

* * *

**A/N- Ok, not a very interesting start. I have a plot in mind, but I had get this background stuff out of the way first. Oh, and despite how it looks right now, this is B/E not B/J.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-****Not Stephenie Meyer**

We walked hand in hand down to the beach where we had first talked after my return to Forks. There was a comfortable silence between us as we just listened to the gravel under our feet and the waves crashing ashore. It was hard not to feel peaceful here, and having Jake by my side just intensified the feeling. I knew that he would never purposefully hurt me, and for that I was grateful. At the same time, he was still a kid, and I was worried that getting involved with a head-case like me might not be the best idea for him.

I shoved that thought quickly out of my head as I did not want to attempt to make decisions for him. He may still be a kid, but he was old enough to decide for himself who to date.

Eventually we sat down at the very fire circle where we met way back when and just stared at the water. I knew I would probably have to start this conversation, for while Jacob may be able to fight off vampires single-handedly talking about emotions and things just seemed beyond him.

"Jacob….so….um….how 'bout those Mariners?" Ok, so I'm not very good at talking about emotions and things either. The look on his face was priceless though, so it was worth it. He had opened his mouth to speak, most likely a long rant about the pitchers or something, when his jaw snapped shut and he looked at me like I was insane. In a split second, he was laughing at me then he fell off the log we were sitting on, which at least broke the tension.

"Seriously Bells. Baseball? Do you even know what the in-field fly rule is? Can you tell me why Johjima will never be better then Wilson behind the plate?" In-field fly? Johjima? Yeah, he had me there.

"Sorry, that wasn't what I wanted to say."

"Ok then, spit it out."

"Well, I just wanted to, um, thank you for being such a good friend these past couple months. I don't know where I would be if you hadn't come in to my life when you did." The words were flowing out of my mouth and I wasn't sure if I could stop at this point even if I tried. "I just want you to know that you are my best friend, and, well, I love you Jake. I know you love me too. Maybe in a different way, but if you want, I could try to work on that with your help, of course." My heart was pounding in my chest. Did that make any sense? I wasn't sure, but I was hoping he would figure it out so I didn't have to go through that again. I hated making myself that vulnerable. Being so open with someone just leaves them the opportunity to stomp on your heart. I should know.

I was afraid to look up at him, but I took a deep breath and did it anyway. Where his eyes had sparkled with amusement just a minute ago, they now looked deep in concentration.

"Did you just ask me out?" He seemed hopeful. Maybe Emily was right.

"Yeah, Jake I think I did. But I understand if you aren't interested. I know I have emotional issues and more baggage then an airport carousel, but if I'm going to be happy with anyone," (who isn't _him_, I added in my head), "it would be you. You pulled me back from being a zombie and made me feel human again. But I understand if you just want to be fr…."

His lips on mine stopped that thought dead in its tracks. I guess I had my answer. I was dating Jacob Black.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Just thought I should clear this up. After the Cullen's left, all the other vampires in Bella's life disappeared too. Laurent never returned and Victoria isn't hell bent on revenge (though that may change….stay tuned). The wolves have not had an actual encounter with a vampire yet, so all they do is run around the res and eat lots of food. Ok, back to the story.**

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

Over the next couple weeks Jake and I were inseparable. I was graduating in a month, I had a boyfriend who loved me, and I had been accepted at Evergreen State College down in Olympia, so I would be starting there in the fall. On the outside it seemed that I had the perfect life, but on the inside I was still hurting. I had forced myself to stop thinking about him as _him, _and to start thinking his name. Edward. Edward Cullen. It still hurt. Still felt like I was being torn apart. But I was stronger now, and was able to hide my pain from everyone. Charlie thought I was better. Jake felt like I was falling in love with him. While I loved Jake, and I knew he was in love with me, I wasn't sure I would ever return those feelings in the way he wanted.

Dating a human being was different. I didn't have to worry about falling down and cutting my knee open, something I do on a weekly basis. Though, while I was with Edward, I rarely fell down since he was always catching me. Jake would try, but often he wouldn't be fast enough. It was strange to feel warm all the time. Back when I lived in Phoenix, warm was my constant state of being. After being with Edward, being slightly chilled was actually comforting. I found myself looking forward to frosty spring mornings as they calmed my body and mind. Spending all my time with an overheated boy left me feeling slightly nervous, as if something was not quite right.

I don't know if I could ever get used to kissing Jake. I used to say that about Edward, but in a different sort of way. Kisses from him were like oxygen. I physically needed to feel the cold hard marble of his lips against mine. I would have rather been kissing him then doing anything else, including breathing (I even passed out on several occasions because of this!). With Jake it was different. I would pull away from Jake not because of the lack of oxygen, but because the feel of his lips on mine was actually a little repulsive. His hot, almost squishy lips were not the cool marble that my body still craved after all this time. I loved Jake, and was willing to try, but there are some things that are just hard to get over.

I was happy though. I was happy because the other people in my life were happy. Jake, Charlie and Billy were absolutely ecstatic. The pack kept giving us a hard time about what took us so long. Jake and I had a great time together. Not many people can make studying for a calculus final fun, but somehow he did. We rode on our motorcycles every weekend, and the first warm day of the year he took me cliff diving (from the lowest cliff…I may be dating a nearly indestructible werewolf, but I'm still Bella after all). But I realized it's not enough to have fun and make other people happy. In the end, the only way I will feel that my life is complete is I make myself happy, and to do that I had to be honest with myself.

I didn't love Jake the way he did, and while he would always be one of my best friends, I just didn't feel right leading him on. Come September I would be moving to Olympia while he would be staying behind in La Push to finish high school and attend to his duties with the pack. I knew that eventually he would find his imprint (and while he claimed that he thought he imprinted on me, I was not convinced) and he would leave me. If we broke it off soon, he wouldn't have to worry about hurting my feelings when that time came. And then there was the fact that my heart kept crying out that this was wrong. I knew that there was only one person I could ever love, and if Edward didn't love me back then I would live my life alone. I knew I had to act soon, and graduation seemed like the perfect time to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**- **Not Stephenie Meyer**

Graduation day came at last, and time seemed to be playing tricks on me. From when I got up to when _Pomp and Circumstance_ started playing over the gymnasium load speaker, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I attempted to do something with my hair, but knowing that I would be receiving my diploma with all my classmates minus the two who mattered most, I realized it really didn't matter. Renee, Phil and Charlie took me out to lunch, trying to cheer me up on what should have been one of the happier days of my life, but all I could think about was how it didn't seem complete.

Forks High School covers a large amount of space on the Olympic Peninsula, so lots of students live more than 30 minutes from campus. Because of this, it is tradition to have graduation in the middle of the afternoon, so everyone can make it home to have graduation parties. Around 1:30 my parents dropped me off, royal blue cap and gown in hand, at the entrance to the school and I joined Angela and Ben in trying to get our tassels straight, and figuring out what was the front of the robe.

We lined up and the music started. After that it was a blur. Graduation was over and done in 30 minutes (I guess that's what happens when you have a graduating class of 59…wait, 57). All I could hear as I walked up to get my diploma was "Isabella Marie….." and then the loudest cheering I have ever heard come from one person. Jacob. I knew that I was going to break his heart tonight, and I wasn't looking forward to it, but it needed to be done for both of our sakes.

My parents, Phil, Jake and Billy all met me afterwards. I received hugs and well wishes from all of them, as well as bouquets from Mom, Charlie, and Jake. Charlie had originally wanted to go out to dinner, but I had convinced them that what I would like more than anything was just a quiet night at home with my whole family. I put together a lasagna the night before, so all we had to do was put it in the stove and chat while it cooked. We talked about going to Olympia next year for school, my memories since moving to Forks (minus the 9 month period I refused to acknowledge), and how Phil's team was doing.

After dinner, then adults all sat around drinking coffee and watching the Mariner's game, so I took Jake by the hand and led him outside. June in the northwest is a tricky sort of time. It could be warm, cold, wet, dry, windy, or calm. There were days where it was all of those things in one 24 hour period! We were lucky today, and it was warm with a light wind. Jake and I began walking towards the woods, as we did many nights. I knew he would want to be away from people when I said what I was about to say.

"Jake, I've been doing some thinking. About us. About where we are going and what we are doing." I paused, looking up at his face. I wasn't sure if he could see what was coming yet or not. It face betrayed no emotion, so I continued. "This relationship isn't fair to you. I have tried. You know how hard I have tried, but I still can't feel what I should for you. When Edward left, he left me broken. While you managed to put most of the pieces back together, I'm afraid that there are some that are lost forever. Pieces that he took with him. I will never be whole again, and you deserve someone who can love you with their whole self, not just the parts that are left. I love you Jake, and I would never ever want to hurt you."

It was quiet for a long time, just the sound of our steps echoing through the trees. I wasn't sure how far we had gone in to the forest, but I could no longer see my house so I was happy that Jake was there to help me find my way back again. For a brief moment, the irony of the situation struck me, but I pushed it out of my mind so that I could focus on Jacob entirely.

"Bella, I love you. I love you more then any person I have ever met. I love everything about you. And I love you for giving this a try. At least we can say now that it didn't work, for not knowing would have been much worse. Maybe if we had been together before you met him, things would have been different. But thank you for giving me the best two months of my life."

My tears finally spilled over and he pulled me into one of his big hugs that always managed to make me feel better. I shouldn't have been surprised that Jake took the news so well. He knew me as well as I knew myself, and he probably had seen this coming.

"Thank you Jacob. For everything. You will always be my best friend. I want you to know that. No one could ever replace you for me."

"Ditto, Bells."

We stood there for a long time, him holding me while I cried softly. Just as I was starting to feel better, I felt him stiffen under my arms and then start trembling. I looked at his face and saw a combination of anger and disgust written on his features.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

"Something…smells, Bella. Something smells bad. You need to back up, now!"

I let go but stood there staring at him.

"Bella, RUN!"

Jacob seemed to explode right in front of me. And then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**- **Not Stephenie Meyer**

The smell of antiseptic and gauze hit my nose and I knew immediately where I was. The hospital. How had I gotten here though? All I remembered was Jacob complaining that something smelled bad and then it seemed that he had exploded right in front of me.

OH NO! JACOB!

I struggled to open my eyes, to find out what was going on. I looked around but it was quiet and dark. The clock on the wall read 3:00 and I could only guess that it was 3:00AM. Having spent more time in hospitals than I would have liked, I knew there had to be a nurse call button around someplace. It wasn't on my right side, so I turned to my left to check there and that was when I saw it.

My entire arm was bandaged. I saw small amounts of blood seeping out, and felt the burning throughout the appendage. The very tips of my fingers stuck out the end, and I forced myself to make them move, though that made the burning more pronounced.

What had happened to me? And if I looked this bad, what happened to Jacob. I resumed my desperate search for a call button, but found that it had fallen to the ground on my left side and there was no way I would be able to bend down and pick it up. While I cursed my misfortune yet again, my heart sped up as I remembered Jake exploding in front of me. Thankfully, my increased heart rate alerted the nurses, and one of them came in to check on me.

"I see you are finally awake Miss Swan. You gave us quite the scare. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" Nurse Ashley, according to her name tag, was around 30 years old with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. She seemed awfully awake for 3 in the morning, but I guess if that is when you work, you learn to deal with it.

"My arm hurts," I finally replied when I could tell she was getting a little concerned about my lack of response. "I'm more concerned about the boy that was with me. Is he alright? Does his dad know we're here? Do my parents know I'm here? What happened anyway?"

"Well, I'm not sure where to start. Your parents have been here with you since you were brought in last night, but they were sent home to get some sleep. We don't know what happened. A driver happened to notice you on the side of the road and brought you in here herself. She was quite concerned about you. Said you were her neighbor or something."

"But what about Jacob? Is he okay?"

"There is no one here by that name. You were the only one that your neighbor saw."

"Wait. What neighbor? What did she look like? What was her name?" Neighbor? That made no sense. We were in the middle of the woods. There were no houses around there. And how did this person find me on the side of the road. I don't remember leaving Jacob's side. Something was adding up properly.

"Let me look at your chart and see if they got a name. She was quite beautiful though. Alabaster skin, caramel colored hair, striking golden eyes. Several of the doctors were practically tripping over themselves to help her when she brought you in." There is only one person who would fit that description. But that's impossible. They left months ago. "Aw, here it is. A Mrs. E. Carlisle. Do you know her?"

"The description sounds familiar, but I don't know if I have heard that exact name before." I heard the words come out of my mouth but it sounded far away. I was lost. Esme? Had Esme brought me to the hospital? What was she doing there? Were the others with her? Why did she save me and not Jacob? What had happened to Jacob? My mind swirled these thoughts around and around until for the second time since graduation, everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

It felt like sometime after dawn when I felt consciousness sneaking back up on me. A bright light was coming in through the window and I couldn't believe that I had managed to end up in the hospital on one of the first really nice days of the summer. My concerns about Jacob and thoughts of Esme's possible return to my life still weighed heavily on me, and I realized I was not yet ready to face the people I could hear just outside the door.

"Chief Swan, Mrs. Dwyer, there is currently nothing you can do. She will wake up when she is ready. I suggest you go home and get some rest. You have been here since 6AM. I promise we will call if there is any change. She has been through a lot. Her body and mind both need the rest. She will be fine though, I can promise you that. There will only be minor scarring." Scarring? What happened to me?

"Well, thank you Dr. Edmond. I appreciate everything. I truly do. You know where to reach us." Ah, Charlie was in "dad mode". I was afraid he was going to go all "Chief Swan" on them. I could hear Charlie and Renee talking, their voices getting softer as they moved away from my room. I was thankful that the doctor had convinced them to go home. I couldn't deal with Charlie's questioning and Renee's panic just yet. I had my own questions and panic to sort through first.

I opened my eyes and looked at the window and realized to my shock that it was not dawn, but dusk. It was much later then I had expected, and I had managed to sleep through the entire night. _Twilight. The safest time of day... _ I was surprised to hear those words in my head. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to think of anything but the last conversation Edward and I had had. I heard the door open and close softly, then felt a light touch on my injured arm, but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Edward to turn and look at the person. My arm did not sting as badly as it had overnight, and I was sure it was just a nurse or doctor checking the bandages. It wasn't until the person lightly grasped my hand that I turned to look at them.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to wake you." Her voice was soft and while I was surprised to see her standing next to me, I wasn't the least bit upset about it.

"Emily! What are you doing here? Do they know anything about Jake? What happened? Please! What is going," my voice trailed off as I looked into her sad eyes. I didn't know what she was going to say next, but I was pretty sure that I didn't really want to hear it.

"Jake is fine. At least physically. Mentally he is a wreck. They think he is in Montana or Colorado at this point. He won't stop running. He is so upset by what happened. He's blaming himself for, well, this," she gestured to my bandages. "Sam wants him to come back, but he won't give Jake the order. He knows he will return eventually."

"Has he said what happened. All I know is that Jake got very tense, told me to run and then exploded. The next thing I knew I was here with my arm all wrapped up, being told that I was dropped off by a neighbor that I don't know."

Emily looked pained, as if she did not know which would be better, the truth or nothing at all. She sighed resignedly and started to speak. "According to Sam, while Jake was holding you in the forest, he caught the scent of a vampire. He didn't realize it was a vampire though, as I don't think any of the pack has ever met one face to face. All he knew was that his body was going in to attack mode, and he wasn't strong enough to control it. He tried to get you to move, but it was too late. He phased and you were caught in the after math."

"So, if I were to take off this gauze and look at my arm, I would see…?" I trailed off, hoping she would finish my thought for me.

"You would probably see something rather similar to my face," was her quiet reply. She looked sadly at my arm, before returning my gaze. "I guess it is now just one more thing we have in common Bella." She smiled slightly at me, trying to make both of us feel better.

"Oh," was all I could say. Jake had turned in to a wolf less than three feet from where I was standing. I knew I was lucky to be alive.

"It's amazing though," she continued. "As soon as he phased, apparently he caught one look at you, and disgusted with himself, ran away. His disgust and his desire to protect you from himself overpowered the natural wolf urge to stay and fight the vampire."

"Wait, Jake left me in the woods, unconscious and bleeding, with a vampire nearby? What was he thinking? How am I even alive?"

"I think he knew that the vampire would rather die than hurt you." It looked like it pained her to say that, but it was also obvious that she believed it to the very core of her being. She glanced at her watch, "I should get going. I'm not even supposed to be here. Visiting hours ended 45 minutes ago, but I just had to talk to you before I went back to the reservation. Just know that we are all thinking about you."

"Thank you Emily. Have Sam tell Jake that I don't blame him and I want him to come back. Please?"

"Of course, Bella. Get some rest. I will see you soon." With that she let herself out the door. I turned back to the window to watch the sunset behind the trees. Jake had run away, leaving me bleeding in the presence of a vampire, knowing that I would be _safe_? If that was true, there were only 7 vampires that I could think of who would have kept me safe in that situation.

Did they come back? If so, why? Why didn't they just leave me in the woods? They didn't want me. Edward had made that quite clear. Of course, they were some of the kindest people I know, so there was no way they would have let me die. Again, I was wrapped up in my own confusion that I barely heard the door open. Emily had told me that visitor's hours were over, so this had to be a doctor or nurse, but when they made no effort to enter farther into the room, I turned and gasped.

"I'm sorry Bella, I shouldn't have come. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'll leave. Again, I'm sorry."

"No, please! Stay! I've missed you, Esme!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- I'm heading out of town for the weekend in an hour, so this is going to be a short chapter, sorry. I was just going to leave it for Monday night, but this story won't get out of my head, so here is one more chapter before I go.**

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

Was this another one of my hallucinations? She seemed so real as she walked slowly (even for a human) towards my bed. It wasn't until she lightly touched my face that I knew this was real. There was no way that I could have imagined the icy, smooth perfection of her skin on my face. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.

"Esme! You came back. I've missed you so much. Why did you leave?" I broke down sobbing. She held me gently, rocking me back and forth.

"Hush Bella. It's alright. I'm here now. It's okay. I promise to explain everything." Her words comforted me and I finally relaxed into her hard body and just let her hold me. "Bella dear, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course, what?"

"Will you tell me everything that has happened to you since I last saw you. From the end of the party until now. Pretend I don't know Edward and just tell me everything, from your perspective."

"Um, okay. But why?" I was confused. Wouldn't she know what happened before they left, and wouldn't Alice have been able to fill in all the details?

"Please Bella, I promise I will explain after you are finished."

I sighed and started in to the story. I told her about Edward's cold, distant presence after the party and then I got to the worst moment in my life. It was hard to tell her the words he said to me, with one arm unable to hold my chest together and the sobs breaking out of my chest. As I told her about the part where he had crushed my entire being by saying he didn't love me and didn't want me, I heard something I never anticipated. Esme hissed.

"What? Esme what's wrong? What did I say?" She didn't seem to hear me though. She was muttering to herself. I had never seen her look more like a vampire then she did at that moment. While most of her words were too fast or too low for me to hear, I did catch a few things.

"I knew it. There was no way she would have let him go otherwise. To lie to her. To lie to me. We raised him better than that. He will not know what hit him when I see that son of mine."

"Esme, please? Explain. What lie?" That seemed to shake her back in to reality.

"I do not think it is my place to tell. Just know that not everything is how it seemed. We did not leave to get away with you, and every single one of us has missed you every moment since we left. Oh my sweet Bella, you've been living all these months thinking that you were unloved by us? How could you ever think that? You are family. We will always love you."

"Then why did you leave?"

"That is for Edward to explain. And trust me when I say, that I will see to it that he does explain everything to you, properly. Sometimes I wonder what is going through his head." I yawned involuntarily, then instantly wished I had not. Esme's motherly concern got the best of her. "Bella, dear, you need to sleep. I promise to come back and see you again tomorrow."

"No Esme, please! Please stay?"

"I can stay until you fall asleep, but I really should get back to Carlisle. He's bound to be wondering where I am."

"Carlisle is here too? Why didn't he come with you to see me?" I felt myself swiftly falling into sleep, but was fighting it in order to hear her answer.

"He wanted to, but the people here at the hospital would recognize him, so we thought it would be best if I was the only one who came at first."

"Oh. Tell him I said 'Hi!'" I knew I was fighting a losing battle, so I snuggled up close to her and closed my eyes. "One more thing. Why are you here in Forks now? What brought you back?"

"Bella. Sweet Bella. You didn't think we would miss our daughter's high school graduation, did you?" I smiled as I fell in to the deepest sleep I had had in months.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Wow, thanks for the reviews. I didn't really anticipate any one would even want to read this let alone review it. So, thanks from the bottom of my heart.**

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

I spent two more days in the hospital. Charlie and Renee barely left my side. Phil had to return to Jacksonville early. He was only able to take one game off before the team needed him back. I told him that I was fine and that I would be try to make it to one of his games over the summer. That made him happy. Emily came by several times to check on me, as well as Sam, Billy, and the Clearwater family. Billy seemed especially worried and kept offering to help in whatever way he could. I tried to tell him it was okay, but he didn't want to listen.

The evenings after visiting hours were passed by chatting with Esme, who slipped in when the nurses weren't paying attention. I found out that she and Carlisle had gotten married again. This was only the second time for them, as usually they were playing the parental roles. She told me she was a little jealous of Alice and Rosalie getting wedding after wedding while she had only had one. It was a private affair, with just the Denali clan, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett present. She never spoke of Edward, only saying that he hadn't been himself lately, and it would be up to him to fill in the rest.

The night before I was to be released, Carlisle stopped by for a short time as well. Esme said that it was hard for him to stay away, knowing that one of his children was hurt, but also knew that they needed to keep their cover, and he was so much more recognizable then she. He examined my arm briefly, and it was the first time I had the courage to look at the wound. There were large scratches running the length of my arm. They were scabbed over and healing nicely, with no fresh blood present, but it was obvious that Esme felt as uncomfortable as I was did.

"You are very lucky Bella. You will have some faint scarring, but it appears that you will be back to normal within another week or so." Carlisle was one of the gentlest doctors I had ever had, and I appreciated him looking at my arm. "The damage could have been a lot worse. He could have done nerve damage, taken off the entire arm, or killed you." He paused, looking shaken for a moment, before composing himself and continuing. "Bella, what is the story you are telling everyone. What 'happened' to you?" He even did the "air quotes" with his fingers. I couldn't stop the giggle from escaping my lips.

"Oh, I'm telling them the truth." I said, not really thinking about it. Both he and Esme stared at me in horror, until I realized what I said. "Not the whole truth mind you," I backtracked, "basically that I had broken up with Jake and was trying to clear my head by walking in the woods when I was mauled by a wolf. I'm sure it would seem farfetched if anyone else said it, but everyone knows I'm a walking danger magnet. No one has questioned it yet, but Charlie does have extra patrols searching the parks for wolves. Thankfully the pack knows about it and is staying clear."

"Bella, how did you get wrapped up with the pack? I didn't even realize the transformation gene had been passed down. I thought it had died out with Ephraim all those years ago."

I told them the story of what had happened after I came out of my catatonic state and how Jake had been there to put me back together. "After we started dating I realized that it wasn't meant to be. I know now that Edward is the only person I am meant to share my life with, but since he doesn't want me, I will live my life alone. Strangely enough, I think I am okay with this. No one could ever compare to him in my mind. He will always be everything to me." I had tears in my eyes as I concluded my story and I could tell they both would have been crying too if they could.

"It is time for you to rest. You get to go home tomorrow, so I'm not sure when we will see you again, but I promise it will be soon." Esme was so motherly and kind. While I loved Renee as much as anyone loved their mother, she was never the most maternally minded individual. It was nice to have someone who wanted to take care of me in that way, though I was hesitant to admit that.

"Please stay in Forks! I miss you terribly. And what about everyone else? Is there any way I can talk to the rest of the family?" I pleaded with them, hoping that I would get to see my almost family one more time.

"Bella, I promise. You will see the _whole_ family very soon. But for now, rest and recover. We will be at the house for a few more days if you need a place to escape for awhile," Carlisle said, smiling. I wondered if he was thinking about how overprotective Charlie was going to be when I was back under his own roof.

"Thank you both. I really have missed you both. I love you."

"And we love you Bella." They both kissed me on the forehead and then with only the sound of a slight gust of wind, they were gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

The next morning, before Charlie was supposed to pick me up, the doctor came in for one more look at my arm. He unwrapped the bandages and examined it, gently turning it so that he could see how it was healing. While his hands were warmer then Carlisle's, his demeanor was certainly cooler and more professional.

"Miss Swan, it looks like you are going to be just fine. In fact, I do not think you need the bandages any more. Ever portion of the wound is scabbed over, so it is up to you if you would like me to rewrap it or not." I shook my head, wanting as few reminders of the hospital as possible. He continued, "I want you to take these antibiotics three times a day for the next two weeks. You will need to come back in for a third rabies shot, as we have given you two during your stay here. I also have this pamphlet on rabies and what to look for. If you experience any of these symptoms, come back immediately. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," I mumbled. I hated being a patient. It reminded me of being a small child and having to listen to lectures about why jumping on the bed is not a good idea.

"Here are your discharge papers. Once you sign them and return them to the nurse, you are free to leave." He turned and quickly left the room, and for that I was thankful. I wanted some quiet before my family arrived.

Esme had left a bag of clothes for me, saying that she had been informed by a very good source that I would need them. There was a skirt, some sandals, and a long sleeved blouse, that covered my injuries nicely, without putting any pressure on them. I reminded myself to thank Alice for that later.

The ride home was quiet and once we got there, Charlie left me to my own devices. It was obvious that he was worried about me because when I got home I realized that the kitchen had been stocked with my favorite foods and there was a check for the pizza guy already written out and waiting on the counter. I knew he was a man of few words, so these gestures said what he couldn't, that he was glad to have me home.

I sat in the living room with him while we ate our pizza. The Mariner's were on, so he was distracted, though during commercials we talked about my plans for the summer and if I was still planning on going to TESC in the fall. I knew he was hoping I would stay closer to home, but I was not thinking about changing my plans, to his disappointment.

The next day he had to return to work, so I decided to go visit Esme and Carlisle. It had been awhile since I had been to their house and I actually missed the turn the first time I drove by. Eventually I arrived to see several cars instead of just the Mercedes I was expecting. I hadn't even closed my truck's door when I heard a booming voice from inside.

"MY FAVORITE HUMAN IS HERE!!!" The door burst open and before I could truly comprehend what was happening, Emmett had scooped me up into one of his massive hugs. He quickly ran me in to the living room where Alice squealed with delight.

"Bella! We have so much to do. Do you know how much shopping I have been doing? Seriously, I have a couple lifetime's worth of wardrobes for you. Come on. They're upstairs. Let's try them on!"

"Alice, calm down please! I just got here. Can we get caught up first?" There was no way I was going to hurry upstairs to become Bella Barbie quite yet.

"Fine," she said in a huff, plopping down on the couch between Rosalie and Jasper.

"Thank you. Hi Jasper. Hi Rosalie. How are you two?"

"Fine, thank you for asking," was Jasper's reply, while Rosalie just got up and walked out of the room.

We spent the entire day talking, laughing, and eventually trying on clothes. At one point, when I needed a "human moment" I walked down the hall and glanced in to Edward's room. It had been so long since I had been there that I couldn't resist. It looked exactly as I remembered, but still my memory did not do it justice. I stared out the window for a few moments, until my thoughts were interrupted by my wildest dreams.

"My love. I've missed you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer…still**

The voice sounded raw and unused, but there was no mistaking who it belonged to. Turning around slowly, I once again took in the room. It was then that I noticed him, sitting in the far corner, where all the curtains had been drawn, surrounded by darkness. My dreams, my hallucinations, none of them came close to the beauty that was Edward. In my head, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell and scream and run away. I wanted him to be as miserable as he made me, so I started to run.

But instead of running away, I quickly crossed the length of the room, before tripping and falling headlong in to his arms. As much as my head wanted to punish him, my heart and soul needed to be with him immediately and forever. In the back of my mind, I remembered what he had said. The fact that he didn't love me, that he didn't want me. I knew I might have been asking for more pain by doing this, but I couldn't stop myself. This time, if he was going to try and leave, I was going to put up a fight. But he had just said he missed me, and he looked like he had been through hell. That was a good sign, right?

I was considering all of that as I crossed the room. By the time I got to him I was thinking of nothing but my love for him, and how it felt to have his arms around me once again. I realized that it didn't matter how much pain it would cause. I pulled myself up and kissed him with all the passion I had in me. It only took a split second before he caught on. His arms wrapped around me tighter, one hand working its way up in to my hair. My arms grabbed at the back of his neck, in an attempt to pull him even closer. My lips formed around his, and I moaned involuntarily as his scent buffeted my senses. I shivered as I felt his tongue trace over my bottom lip. Eventually, I had to break away to catch my breath, but he didn't waste a moment, kissing my jaw, my collarbone, and my neck.

He carried me over to his couch where we were laying down before I even realized what had happened. Our bodies were perfectly parallel, mine forming seamlessly in to his. The kiss continued for what seemed like forever, yet at the same time, not nearly long enough. It had been filled with all the emotions we had kept bottled up for the past few months. There was passion, anger, joy, hurt, sadness and relief all in that one kiss. It was unlike any we had ever shared. It was either a new beginning or a proper goodbye.

"I missed you too," I sighed, tucking my head under his chin. He kissed my hair, and rubbed circles on my back.

"I could tell," he chuckled. " Bella, aren't you mad at me?"

"Of course I am. You should have known better. How could you think that I would ever forget you? Taking away the photos and gifts won't take away my memories. You were, are and will forever be my life, whether you are physically with me or not. I tried to live the life you wanted me to have, and it nearly cost me everything." I felt his cool hand gently trace the scabs on my arm. I knew he would be upset, but I needed his attention first. I pulled away slightly and made him look me in the eye. "Edward, while I _am_ upset that is only a small portion of what I am feeling right now. Mostly, I am filled with joy at just being here in your arms. I never want this moment to end."

"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve someone so loving, kind, and forgiving as yourself. If we live a hundred thousand years, I will never stop trying to make it up to you." I interrupted him by kissing him once more. I wanted him to feel as happy as I felt at that moment. That one small word "we" put me over the edge, and I was truly ecstatic. There would be plenty of time for him to grovel later. "So are you going to tell me what happened to your arm? Carlisle and Esme have been blocking their thoughts. All I know is that it had something to do with a wolf. Were you hiking by yourself?"

"No, I wasn't by myself. I was with a friend. Physically, he is fine, but I think the emotional scarring for him will be a lot worse than the physical scarring on my arm. I promise, I will tell you the whole story soon, but for now can we just focus on us?"

"I think I can manage that," he said, his lips against my mouth. I don't know how long we stayed there, but I could tell it was starting to get dark and I was going to need to head home soon. I hadn't left a note for Charlie, since I thought I would only be gone an hour or two. We lay there, forehead to forehead, staring into each other's eyes. It amazed me at how much we could say by just looking at each other. His eyes conveyed the guilt and grief he felt over the pain he had caused me, while I was sure that mine portrayed all the love I was carrying for him.

"I should probably get going. Charlie is going to be worried. Will you come over tonight?"

"Of course, love. I will never leave you again." The back of his hand brushed softly over my cheek. "I am too selfish a creature to ever do that again. I need you the way you say you need me. I promise, forever."

"That's all I'm asking for." I smiled at him, and he started to smile that crooked grin I loved so much when he froze.

From down the hall I heard Alice's voice, "NOOOOOOO!" at the same time Edward yelled, "CARLISLE!".

And then everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N- Sorry for the delay. I decided to extend the story some more. Originally this was going to be the last chapter, but I'm not ready for it to end yet, so hopefully you enjoy the new direction it will be going. Once I figured out what I wanted to do, I couldn't get on to update this silly thing. Please forgive me for making you wait. Thanks!**

"Edward, will you please stop pacing. You are making us all nervous. She's going to wake up in thirty seconds, okay?" That was definitely Alice's voice. Why was Edward pacing? Probably because of me. I seem to cause him more distress than anyone else in his life. Did I faint? Is that why Alice said "she" would wake up? That's weird. All I remember were Alice and Edward screaming and then…. Hmm, yep, it all went dark after that.

My eyes fluttered open to see Alice bouncing on her toes, looking quite smug. Carlisle was looking at me with concern and relief. Then there was Edward. Running his hands through that thick hair of his, looking like he would have been physically ill from worry if possible. Relief spread across his face as we locked eyes.

"Edward, you need to relax," I said, trying to lighten things up a bit. I recognized the bed I was laying on as Alice's and tried to remember how I had gotten there. "Seriously, you look like you are going to have a stroke." I laughed for a moment until I realized that everyone else was silent. Alice and Carlisle looked inexplicably sad, while Edward was just furious.

"You think that is funny? That isn't funny! That isn't something to joke about," he fumed, resuming his pacing around the room.

"What did I say? Edward, it was a JOKE. Can someone please tell me what is going on?" The eerie silence started wearing on my nerves when Carlisle finally spoke.

"Bella, I think you had a transient ischemic attack, or 'mini-stroke'." Oh, I guess that explains Edward's reaction. "It was most likely a result of your injury there. A blood clot must have gotten lose and traveled to your brain, causing you to black out. The problem with these kinds of conditions is that there is no way of knowing when one would happen or even if one could happen. Most people recover from traumatic wounds like yours with no problems. This was a freak occurrence most likely, but it would make me feel better if you would go back to the hospital for an MRI. It would tell us if there was any damage done with the blood flow was being blocked. You are very lucky that everything happened the way it did. It could have been much, much worse."

"Can't I just stay here? Alice will be able to tell if something is going to happen, and then you can do whatever it is you need to do to make sure I am ok. That would work right?" Carlisle shook his head, and it looked like Edward was ready to pick me up and carry me to the hospital himself. Alice continued to shake her head sadly.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I really do think this is the best way. Alice just barely saw it before it happened this time. Until that blood clot 'decides' to break away and move through your blood stream, she won't see it. As a physician, I would be remiss if I didn't recommend full medical treatment. Plus you know that I think of you as one of my children. You are my most fragile daughter. It would break my heart if something were to happen to you that I could have prevented." I couldn't stop the tears that started falling as he talked to me. I wanted to give him a hug, but found that I was too weak to actually get up.

"Fine. You win." I pouted, as Edward smiled victoriously at me. "Carlisle, thank you. You know that I think of you and Esme as my parents and I love you so much. If I could move, I would hug you right now." Instead he came to me, embracing me in a big hug, holding me close.

"I love you too Bella. Now let's get you to the hospital okay?"

"Can I ask one favor first?"

"What is that?" I could tell he and Edward were concerned by this turn of events, but Alice was the one who answered.

"Sure Bella. That will not be a problem…if you let me fix your hair. What were you doing to mess it up so much?" She wagged her eyebrows at me, laughing. Edward looked relieved, and Carlisle looked confused. I always found it frustrating to be the only one out of the loop, so I wanted to make sure he was included.

"I just wanted to make sure we could keep this from Charlie. If he knew that I was back in the hospital, even if just for a few tests, I would probably never be allowed to leave the house again."

"We can do that, provided that the tests come back okay. If you are being admitted, you will need to call him though, okay?"

"Okay." I didn't want to call Charlie at all, but I knew that hospital or no hospital, he was probably worried sick, so I phoned quickly to say that I was going out with the Cullen's for the evening, and was relieved that I had mentioned Carlisle and Esme were in town. After the call, Edward and I rode in the Mercedes with Carlisle to the hospital.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

I pouted the entire way to the hospital. I felt a little weak, but just like I had fainted, nothing more than that. They were taking this too far, but as long as Charlie didn't find out, I would humor them. There were definite advantages to going to the hospital with your own doctor in tow, like not waiting to get seen in the ER. Edward tenderly grasped my hand as we followed Carlisle through the maze that is Forks Community Hospital. Why do hospitals always have such confusing floor plans, even the small ones like this? Eventually, we reached Carlisle's office, where he made a few calls to arrange for my tests.

The tests went quickly, with Edward never leaving my side. He kissed me to distract me while they drew blood, and the crazy pounding of my heart caused by his lips made the procedure go even faster. When they were done, Carlisle let us sit in his office while we waited for the results. He had decided to go check on a few other patients, giving us some alone time. Had it only been a few hours since we were reunited? It was beginning to feel like he had never left. As we held hands, our eyes locked and we stayed there for many minutes, neither of us wanting to disturb the perfect atmosphere we currently resided in.

Edward broke first, asking me, "What have you been doing since I, um, last saw you?" It was obvious that the mere thought of our separation was as painful to him as it was to me. I knew he wouldn't like my answers, and would probably blame himself for several of the situations I found myself in, so I decided it would be best to get it all out of the way at once.

"Well, let's see. I gave up all will to live, became a zombie, snapped out of it, got a motorcycle, rode a motorcycle, went cliff diving, graduated high school, dated a werewolf, was subsequently accidentally mauled by said werewolf, pined over you incessantly, had a mini stroke, and that brings us to now. I think that covers everything." Amazingly I managed to get it out in one breath, though I couldn't maintain eye contact with Edward like I had been planning. My eyes were boring holes in the floor while I waited for him to say something…anything. He wasn't even breathing. Maybe telling him everything at the same time was a mistake.

I hazarded a look at him, glancing up through my hair at first, to try and gage his reaction before making full eye contact. The look was reminiscent of Mike Newton the day Tyler punched him out for groping Lauren in the lunch line. Complete and utter shock. After several long minutes, he managed to choke out the words he had been searching for.

"Motorcycles? Cliff Diving? WEREWOLVES? Isabella Marie Swan, you must have completely lost your mind while I was gone! What were you thinking? I asked you not to do anything stupid, so you run off and find possibly the three most reckless things available to you in Forks?" He had never actually raised his voice to me before, so my mind reeled, trying to comprehend what to say next.

"Well, I didn't think I would see you again, and I missed you," my voice trailed off at the end. That was the only explanation I could come up with before the tears started falling down my cheeks. My eyes closed, not wanting to see the angry look on his face. He had only just returned to me and here I was screwing things up. I should have known better and just kept my mouth shut. Slowly, his cold fingers wiped away my tears, and he kissed the places where they had been.

"My Bella, I am so sorry for the mess I caused. Not that this redeems me in any way, but I truly did think you would be better off if I left. If I had known that you would have gone through that much with me away, I wouldn't have even thought twice about leaving your side." I felt myself being slid off my chair and on to his lap, where his strong arms enveloped me in his loving embrace. "I promise, we do not have to talk about all of this right now, but could you answer question for me?"

Meekly, I replied, "Yes, whatever you want."

"Did you love the wolf?"

"In a way. Jacob saw me through the roughest patch of our separation. He was there for me when no one else was. I will always love him, but I love him in the same way that I love Jasper and Emmett. He is like another brother to me. He loved me more passionately then I could have ever hoped to reciprocate, but not knowing if I would ever see you again, I decided to try, to make him happy. In the end, I am the lucky one. I only have the physical scars, while I can only imagine the emotional pain Jacob must be dealing with."

"So he didn't do this in anger?" I could tell that fury boiled just beneath the surface of Edward's eyes, but he was trying hard to hold himself back, for my sake. His cool fingers traced each of the long scars on my arm, making them feel better instantly. It would never cease to amaze me how Edward could soothe away all my pain: physical, emotional and mental.

"No, it was an accident. He is still a very young wolf, and the pack all started undergoing the transformation after your family left." He held me impossibly closer at this, and muttered something under his breath that sounded like "our family". I snuggled closer still. "I asked him to accompany me on a walk, with the purpose of breaking up with him. He took it well, just holding me while I cried out all the guilt I was feeling. I talked to one of the pack girlfriends who said that they think he must have caught either Esme or Carlisle's scent and he couldn't control what happened after that. He told me to run, but I couldn't. He exploded right in front of me, and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital." At that I finally broke down. The pain of the memory, the guilt over what Jacob must be feeling, everything I had been through found its way out of me by way of my tears. Edward held me, rocking slowly back and forth, humming my lullaby until I calmed down.

"Bella, love. I was such a fool. I do not deserve you. I cannot believe that I thought I could survive one year without you let alone eternity. You were right all along. I will beg for your forgiveness for every day of our existence, and I will do everything in my power to be worthy of your love."

"Edward, there is no need to beg. You had my forgiveness the moment I saw you in your room. And as for your love, I feel like I am the one who is not worthy of it, not the other way around. Though, I have to ask, from the way you are talking it sounds like you have changed your mind. Are you willing to change me?"

"I already told you, I cannot live without your love for a year let alone eternity. Though it seems like the most selfish action in the world, I would change you here and now if you asked me. The thought of a life without your smiles is too much to bear." I smiled softly at him, resting my forehead against his.

"I am not ready this instant. There are a few things I need to do, but trust me when I say that the feeling is mutual. Everything you have said goes for me too, and I will take you up on the offer. Soon." With that, he silenced me with a kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

I pondered the doctor's words as Carlisle drove us to my house in silence. They were unable to find any other clots in my system, but since I had already had one episode, they could not discount the possibility of another. If I had another, they also had no way of knowing whether it would be minor, severe, or even fatal. I could live another 80 years without any sign of a blood clot or I could die before I set foot inside my house tonight. The only thing that was keeping me from going completely insane was the knowledge that Alice had seen the first one, so she would most likely see any others as well. I knew Edward wouldn't be going far, though my father didn't even know of his return yet.

I leaned over the back of the seat and gave him a quick hug before jumping out of the car, accompanied by Carlisle. While Carlisle escorted me in to the house, and distracted Charlie, Edward was going to leave the car and wait for me in my room. Alice was also outside someplace, so that Edward would see any visions she might have about me. I had thought they were being ridiculous earlier, but now I was thankful that they were here to protect me from my own body.

Charlie and Carlisle exchanged pleasantries while I retreated to the kitchen to fix dinner as Charlie had obviously not eaten yet since there were no pizza boxes to be seen. Cooking and eating would be difficult with my arm so bandaged, so I decided to go easy on myself. Within 15 minutes I had scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and hash browns cooked up and on the table. I knew that Charlie always enjoyed breakfast for dinner, so it was a win-win situation. Carlisle declined an invitation to stay for dinner, insisting that he needed to get home to Esme. He also hinted that the rest of the family might be coming back soon, as they all missed Forks. L.A. would never be home, he had said.

We ate in companionable silence, though I could tell that Charlie wanted to say something to me. I had an idea what it was so I thought I would beat him to the punch.

"Did I hear right? Carlisle said they may be moving back to Forks permanently?" I asked as innocently as possible. Of course, I already knew the answer. Edward and I were the reason they had to move away in the first place. Now that things were back to normal between us, they had no reason to stay away from one of the few places they actually considered home.

"Bells, are you going to be okay if that happens? I don't want to watch you slowly fade away before my eyes again." He never looked up from his plate as he said this. Probably didn't want me to see the emotion in his eyes. We are so much alike it is hard to believe that I grew up so far away from him.

"You know when I started getting better a few weeks ago? When I really started to seem happy?" About to lie to my father, I could only hope that this wouldn't be as transparent as most of my lies are. "Well, around that time I got an email from Alice. We chatted for a little bit. Since then I have talked to all the Cullen's, including Edward. We've worked a lot of things out. He was going through the same things that I was, with the separation. He thought it would be worse if he talked to me and found out that I hated him for leaving, even though he didn't have a choice. He was still 17, you know. He couldn't just move out on his own. So we've both been suffering without the other realizing it. I talked to him on the phone today and we decided to try and make things work since Jake and I aren't seeing each other anymore." I knew my father would not approve of this, but it would at least make Edward look like less of the bad guy. And when he comes back happily with his family, it will make things a lot easier for us. At least I won't have to go halfway around the world to drag him back.

"You are 18 now, so it is your decision, but I want you to know that I am not happy about this. Is this why you broke up with Jake? You know he ran away from home after you did that." That was a low-blow attempt on my father's part, though I knew the truth of what happened between us, and was not about to feel guilty.

"I know Dad, but he's talked to Sam, so I know he is okay. He's just going through a lot that has nothing to do with our break up." _And everything to do with the fact that he mangled my arm_, I added in my head. "I'm feeling really tired. I think I am just going to call it an early night, okay?" I was just finishing up the dishes and was anxious to get upstairs and into Edward's arms.

"Yeah, that's fine. I was just going to watch the game anyway. Get some rest, okay?" he said as his attention already drifted to the television.

I nodded before leaving the room. I wanted to take the stairs two at a time, but given my recent medical emergencies as well as my normal clumsiness, I stepped deliberately on each step as I made my way up to my room.

As I reached for my door knob, all those insecurities were flying back at me. What if he wasn't there? What if he realized that leaving had been the right thing all along? What if my entire day has just been one big blood clot induced hallucination? Finally I got up the courage to open the door and slip in to the room, stopping to stand facing the door. I couldn't bring myself to look around just yet, because if the room was empty, I would not be able to handle it.

My concerns abated quickly as two marble arms snaked around my waist, and that velvety voice spoke softly into my ear, "I thought you were never going to come through that door."

I spun around quickly and our lips found each other briefly. I pushed away gently. "Now, please don't think I want to stop, because I don't. There is just something I need to do first. Do you think you could get a message to the pack for me?" He nodded. I knew he was reluctant to attempt a contact with the wolves and equally as reluctant to leave me, but it was something I needed to be taken care of, just in case…

I quickly wrote out a note:

_Sam-_

_I need you to read this and get the message to Jacob….in that special way that you do._

_Jake-  
This is not your fault. I am fine. I am actually better than I have been in months. I would like you to come back, but I understand if you can't. Just know that you will always be one of my best friends. I love you. Remember that always Jake._

_Yours, Bella_

Edward read the note over my shoulder and I could tell the content worried him a bit, though he stayed quiet. His only request had been that Alice stay with me while he ran my errand. I sat quietly on the bed while Alice held me, waiting impatiently for his return. The effect of our prolonged separation was that even these short periods apart were painful now.

Before even 5 minutes had passed, he was back in my room. I ran to his arms, feeling myself protected and loved once again. Alice must have left us to be alone, as the next thing we knew we were the only two people there.

"Did you manage to find them?" I asked quietly into his chest.

"Yes. It was actually quite easy. Between our return and their concern for you, they are running patrols along the treaty line constantly now. Sam was unnerved when I first called out to him, but understood as soon as he saw the note. Jacob will get the message, I'm certain."

"Thank you Edward. I couldn't stand the thought of Jake feeling guilty for the rest of his life if I am no longer around." Edward grimaced as I said this, and I felt the need to elaborate. "If I become a vampire, I won't very well be able to contact a werewolf, now will I. I need to start cutting my human ties but I need to give my human friends and family closure."

Edward held me closer and eased me down on the bed. "You don't have to you know. You can stay human if you want." I could hear the heartbreak in his voice, but I knew he meant what he was saying.

"You are the only thing that makes my life worth anything. I need to be with you for eternity. And if I have to break ties with this life, I will do it knowing full well that what I am getting in return is worth it. I love you Edward. I always have. I always will. Forever."

He kissed my forehead while I snuggled closer to him. "I do not deserve you Isabella Swan. I love you too."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer**

It's amazing how 5 years changes your perspective on things. The day after my "mini stroke" I was driving to the Cullen's house with Edward and Alice when I suffered a much more severe one. Carlisle believes that if Edward had not responded as quickly as he did, I would not be here today. He managed to pull me out of the truck and bite at the same time. The venom worked quick enough to keep my heart beating even after the clot reached my brain. Edward ran me to the house, while Alice, and later Carlisle made the accident scene more authentic. Serendipitously, the whole thing could not have worked out better for me. When Edward pulled me out, the truck careened off the small road, into some trees, before bursting in to flames. All they had to do was find a body to replace me (I've never asked where they found it. I would rather not know) and then call the police.

Charlie was devastated, and it broke my heart not being able to tell him goodbye. The entire Cullen family, minus Edward and me went to the funeral. Rosalie swore it was one of the nicest she has been to. Since there was really no doubt to cause of death, there was no autopsy, so the funeral was over and done with before my transformation was complete. Carlisle explained to Charlie and Renee that Edward had locked himself in his room after my death and refused to leave, even for the funeral, and it was the truth. He did not leave my side throughout the entire burning, for which I was thankful. Though his hands did little to cool the flames, they made me feel calmer.

The transformation was indeed the most painful thing I had ever felt. It felt like I was being burnt alive for days on end. If I didn't know what was going on, I would have begged for death. Thankfully, I knew there was something better for me on the other side of the flames, I just had to be patient. I counted Edward's breaths. I counted the number of times he said "I love you." Anything to take the focus away from my misery. Eventually though, the pain ceased, and I opened my eyes to my new life.

The family stayed in Forks for the remainder of the year, before deciding it was time to move on. I was a typical newborn in that I couldn't be around humans, though that was okay with me. The only ones I wanted to see thought I was dead, so there was very little in the human world that interested me, besides blood. With the help of my family, I was strong enough to resist though, and can proudly say that after 5 years as a vampire, I still have not tasted human blood.

Of course, not being able to go out into the "real" world had its advantages, mainly that I was "forced" to spend long lengths of time in our room, just Edward and myself. Eventually, when I was strong enough to risk a chance encounter with humans, we were married in a small ceremony, attended only by our family, presided over by Carlisle. Of course, Alice was in charge of attire and decorations, so it was absolutely stunning. I could not have asked for anything better.

We now live in New Hampshire, since the story was that the family was moving there with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper as they were still attending Dartmouth as far as everyone in Forks was concerned. Alice enrolled there as well and Esme got a job doing interior design, leaving Edward and I home alone during the day and we definitely put those hours to good use. I know eventually we will have to go back to school as well, but for now we are just enjoying being newlyweds.

I do miss Charlie and Renee, and have not heard from Jake in years, though I got a letter from Emily saying that he had returned and had since imprinted on a girl from a neighbor tribe. I was happy that he had found someone who could give him everything he deserved. I guess it's true what they say, there is a reason for everything. And I am so happy that my life ended up the way it did. I wouldn't change it for the world.

**A/N- The end! I hope you liked it. I was pleased for a first attempt at fanfic. I have another story in mind, so keep an eye out for it. Otherwise thanks for reading! And a big shout out to edward1995 and FloRose for being such great reviewers! You two made my day numerous times.**


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